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Please Help

  • My name is Melinda and I am 34 yrs old. I was diagnosed with cellulitis and lymphedema on October 9, 2011. I had had surgery on my right ankle and the dr put a drain in my leg because she said she had to stretch my calf muscle because it had gotten tight. She told me not to touch it or clean it and to keep it wrapped for 3 weeks. Not long after my left leg began to swell. I thought it was due to water retention from sitting for 2 months I had my surgery in March). On Oct 9th, I was admitted into the hospital with 105 degree temp and weeping blisters on my leg. I was told I was in Stage 4 of 6.

     

    My problem is that most days I cry and get depressed because I see people who go about their lives walking, running, hiking, dancing, and I know I can't do those things. The lymphedema has had an effect on my heart, as well. The left side is enlarged and I get out of breath very easily. I can't walk five minutes without having to stop and catch my breath. Also, I have no balance anymore. I have to have help going up and down stairs and curbs. It feels like I am in someone else's body. I have also ballooned to 400 pounds. Of course, I don't know how much of that weight is due to water retention from the lymphedema.

     

    I'm not sure how to deal with this. How do I cope with the fact that I'm so young and won't be able to have the life that I want? When I go shopping I have to use a riding cart because I can't stand up for very long before I feel like collapsing? How do I deal with the constant pain? I know to keep them wrapped, and I do, but they always hurt. I don't want to have to take pills all the time.

     

    Am I being too hard on myself? I don't know anyone else with this. I've seen video blogs on youtube, but I feel like I need to have someone to talk to who really knows what this is like. My husband tries to be there for me, but he doesn't understand what my life is like now.

     

    Anyone who sees this can email me at mlkirkl09@yahoo.com. I may not be here much, but I check my email everyday.