Dating with lymphedema - 2

  • Dating is tough when you’ve had so many bad experiences and poor self image because no one understood your condition.  All I could remember thinking when I was younger and even recently is that:

     

    *I am NOT pretty enough.

     

    *I can never keep someone’s attention.

     

    *Wait, are they really interested in me?

     

    Or when someone would approach me, I would think – “sooner rather than later, he’ll see the lymphedema”.  Uggg, thinking about it makes me just a tad sad, because I wasted a lot of time conversing with self on things that weren’t there.  And I had to remember that people have the right not to like what they are not interested in.  But my warped sense of self, because no one had an answer for me or knowledge of lymphedema was that I was broken.

     

    And in my circle of friends, I always felt like the fifth wheel.  My best friend always got the compliments and attention – I was just the tall girl she hung out with.

     

    Confused by condition, friendships, family affairs, sense of self – dating when younger was hard.  (Pssstttt – dating when older is not a walk in the park, that’s for sure.  But I have a foundation of the things that make up ME, something I didn’t have when younger.  The bible calls a non-foundation building your house on sand.  When the storm comes – it will blow away.).  Not to mention that I am a little outspoken.  In a Latin family we call it “not having hair on your tongue” – and I don’t have any hair on my tongue – yet I learned I needed to tone that down too.  Because you walk in with presumptions and not appreciating anything for what it’s worth or the people you are meeting for who they are. 

     

    Ok – getting better ehhhhh!?  Oh no, still more to work on??!

     

    Ahah!  Judgmental Sally (or Jenny) – well you get the point.  I’d carry my bad experiences and placed them on others.  A big no, no.  All I needed was a word said or an action done – and I was DONE.  Not good, and not very different I guess from what happened with my “January Date” earlier this year.  We should’ve just gone bowling, like the original non-plan!!!

     

    There’s so much to share.

     

    It’s only lymphedema, it’s not who you are and you shouldn’t allow it to keep you hostage.  Now I know.

     

    So little by little.  As you know I have my profile up on a dating site and so this guy contacted me – and we had little convo back and forth……. And then he didn’t return my call?  It’s ok – I’m still standing. 

    *There are times that both of you know that it just isn’t going to work out so you part – JUST PART.

    *And then there are times you’re left wondering what happened?

    *AND then there are times that you are just so cool with it.  Absolutely NO skin off your back.

     

    I’m here Absolutely NO skin off MY back..

     

    Wish I had time back (I could have slept). 

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